Sunday, October 26, 2008


The week following my 58th injection was another week of exhaustion, suffocation and isolation. Day in and day out I sit here. I go for my walks around the house and walk from room to room trying to get some exercise. I don’t walk far, but I walk. I have been getting constant joint and muscle pain from the treatment so I want to keep moving so I don’t seize up with pain.

The rash is back with a vengeance and I look like I’m scalded. My chest, stomach and back seems to be the worst. It seems to be staying away from my face, however, I get occasional flare ups and people do ask me about it.

The medical profession adheres to the fact that there is no such thing as liver pain is really ticking me off. My nurse practitioner looks at me with confusion every time I complain of this symptom. She wants to get my lungs checked every time I mention it and even though it was all checked out the first time I mentioned it, she still insists to do the lung check. I don’t bother mentioning it anymore.

OK, I’ll reword it ...It’s an ache that is constant and dull in the liver area and sometimes it can hit with a jolt that can almost put me to my knees. It doesn’t put me to my knees, but I usually give a yelp because it is sharp and hurts like hell.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Weeks 53, 54, 55, 56, 57

Several weeks have gone by since I posted here. My laptop hard drive crashed and it took me ages to receive my new laptop that I ordered online. I have been diligently working on setting it up.
It was odd that my computer chose to die when the week of my 53 injection. My 53rd year. I hope that’s a good sign and tells me that I have eliminated the active virus with my determination. Hey! I can dream, can’t I?
My 53rd year is one hell of a year. It’s comparable to my 52nd year, but worse. I am treating with rat poison and insecticide for 365 days during my 53rd year of life...and then some. I started this treatment in my 52nd (September 21, 2007) year and will end it in my 54 th year (February 2009) as I have been damned with the 72 week “tour of duty”.
It‘s a real test of endurance. It’s a test of endurance for my husband. Food is a huge issue for me because I cannot make meals and I am unable to stomach take out or grocery store delicatessen food . We had a huge intense discussion tonight about it and I truly do not know how I am going to get through to the end as food sucks, but I have to eat the food to take the riba. I won’t tell anyone that I am on chemo except my immediate family. They are unable to help or don’t realize it’s a huge problem. It’s a catch 22. My husband cannot cook or do for himself unless it’s ripping off the top of a chip bag, chocolate bar wrapper or lifting the top of an ice cream container. I am so sick of junk, takeaway food, purchased food that I could puke, but I won’t! I have to keep the ribas down.
Injection 55 was a dud. My redi-pen failed to mix and the next pen in the same box gave me grief, too. I managed to get it to work.
I was born July 1955 and I just found out in the last couple of years I was a surprise baby. I was shocked. “Mom, say it isn’t so...” However, once I thought about it I reasoned that there are five years between my brother and me so I expect I was a surprise. I never really thought about being a surprise baby until Mom spilled the beans. LOL

My 52, 53, 54 injections were very hard weeks to get through on tx. I was wiped. I could hardly function or breathe. Following injection 55, I had two “better” weeks. Injection 57 was last night and I can feel that suffocation creeping up on me. The injections don’t cause the suffocation, it would be the ribas, but for some reason some weeks are extremely bad and others are “worse than bad.”