Sunday, September 30, 2007

Second Shot

I injected around 8 p.m. Friday night. The night seemed uneventful, but Saturday I was tired and lazed around all day. Today, Sunday, I didn’t feel great. Flu-like. I hope to get the pins under me for work tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Uneventful and I'm Not Complaining

The days following the shot have been very uneventful.

I misread the riba info on the package and thought that I had to store the capsules in the refrigerator and keeping all meds the right temperature. I thought that my life was totally married to the refrigerator. At least if I get along OK I can transport the capsules in my purse and if I get to dine out somewhere I can sneak the pills in with my meal.

My injection site grew a circle of itch around it today. It wasn’t extreme, but noticeable. Strange that it took days to show itself.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I'm still standing

This morning I am up and having my coffee. I think that’s a good sign. I’ll take it easy today and get myself ready to face work tomorrow.

The sides hit around 3:30 p.m. on Friday and the night was a night of major fever, muscle aches, headache, vomiting (I know what I did wrong ... two painkillers on a waterlogged stomach just didn't do the trick).

Yesterday I had a headache most of the day that was eased up with my water intake and painkillers. I found the extra strength painkillers the best and even though I’m not allowed more than 2000 mg in a 24 hour period I will not hesitate to take them in the hours of need after the injections. I will just watch that I don’t go over 2000 mg.

This morning I had a nasty little episode that is too impolite to discuss. However, the rest of the day was normal.

I won’t find out if I cleared the virus until twelve weeks from now. I will have my blood taken every week and then at week four I’ll have the PCR done and it will be held until I have a PCR done at week eight and the lab will do them in a batch because it’s so expensive. I hope they don’t screw up. They have been known to do that.

Toast & peanut butter with three Ribas has become my official breakfast for the next 48 weeks. I do not like it. I like cereal.

I’m not a great eater, especially dinner. I have to take two ribas then and I do wonder if I can get away with less meal because I am taking two at that time. Lunch is usually the time I eat, however, it doesn’t work out to be the time that I am supposed to take the pills.

The day was OK and I seemed OK. I did my usual stuff around the house and I seem none the worse. It was rough Friday night and Saturday wasn't extremely fun. I am amazed I’m still standing.

Friday, September 21, 2007

D Day

We made it to the pharmacy early and paid for the meds. They had to be packed in a huge Styrofoam container so we could get them home. My husband dragged the huge Styrofoam container all through the hospital and when we arrived at the doc’s office the NP noticed us and took us into her office. I was given instructions then I gave myself the shot in front of her. I was out the door on my way to the blood lab within minutes and on my way home by noon.

Self injection … I hesitated and figured I had better bite the bullet and get it done. It was a piece of cake. I have to work up nerve to do it next Friday, again…and then so on.

I’ll see how tonight goes.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Warming Up to a Cold

GREAT! I ended up with a raspy throat and the beginnings of a cold today. I couldn’t believe it. I probably will NOT bring any attention to it tomorrow. I will probably be sick anyhow I may as well add the angst of tx sides to my personal misery.

If I say it out loud to the NP she might postpone my tx for more weeks. That’s not an option!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Chop Chop

I had a hair appointment today and I had my hair coloured for the last time and cut very short before the big day. I may as well get prepared just in case I have trouble with thinning hair. Not being able to colour it will be a problem for me. I almost felt as if I was suffering penance watching the swirls of hair falling on the cape and to the floor.

Tomorrow night I’ll go review the CD from the drug company and go through the pretend motions with the fake redi-pen.

Friday is the day.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Anti-d's :(

I went to my doc to get a script for an anti-d. I started 10 mg of Celexa last night. I hesitated when I investigated the med further when I came home and discovered that it could cause insomnia. The chemist told me last week that it is suggested that it’s taken before bedtime as it causes drowsiness. I waffled for about an hour over taking it before I went to bed and finally I just took it. Down the hatch! Gulp! Gulp!

I am a tad seedy this morning. I wonder how a person feels when they take 20 mg?????

I have no other choice. I have to take it as I figure I’ll need it. All this anxiety, fear and clock and dagger garbage is breaking me.

I am so peeved that I have to take these extra meds, but what’s the point of suffering with this mental anguish along with all the other crap I’ll be subjected to when I treat?

Saturday, September 8, 2007

"I guess!" ???

The long wait for prognosis, genotyping, appointments with specialist, biopsy, appointment with wrong NP following the biopsy and then the super extended long wait to get an appointment to start the tx has worn me down. I believe that if I had of had less time to sit and ponder it I would have been into tx head first.

This journey started with an innocent home visit from a representative from an insurance company who did a physical on December 4, 2006.

It’s been one emotional roller coaster ride since then and I only missed one day of work for my specialist appointment in April.

My reluctance to take time off work for the biopsy last June didn’t help my cause. I had to wait until the first week of July when I was on vacation. However, since a situation that happened at work in June I have come to realize that I work with wieners who take time off work for “farting crosswise” so I will NEVER hesitate to see the doc during work time again. Also, if I need the time off during tx…I will take it. I have copious amounts of sick time that I have accumulated over the years. I’m just not the type of person that abused it and I have always had in the back of my mind…what if I need it! Well, that train of thought came back to bite me on the bum, didn’t it?

This is insignificant, but this is a good place to vent. Yesterday, I was sitting at work trying to figure out how to get to the doc to ask for a new anti-d to try as I came off the one he gave me the last time. I am kicking and screaming with the idea that I have to take anti-d’s for tx.

I was trying to figure out when I could get to doc’s office so I wouldn’t draw attention to myself at work. I realized that it was stupid of me to try to work this around my schedule after work when I just couldn’t get there. It was recommended by the chemist to start an anti-d as soon as possible because the anti-d she suggested takes two weeks to work.

I went into my boss and mentioned that I had to step out for a few minutes if it were OK with him. He had no problem with it because I’m not the type of person who asks for these types of things. I went to reception (out of courtesy) and mentioned to my co-worker that I’d be stepping out for a few minutes and I’d be right back…as I walked away she sarcastically commented in a low voice “I guess!” I turned on my heels and I was LIVID and I responded with a vehement “Pardon Me”! She didn’t answer because she was never expecting me to respond to her like that, but she knew that I caught her innuendo. I was frothing mad. Went to doc’s office only to find he was on vacation. What are the odds of that? I was so upset making that snap decision to leave work to go to the doc that I forgot to call and wasted my time and set myself up for an upset with the little witch of a co-worker.

When I came back to work (and I was gone 20 minutes max) the co-worker was tentative with me and tired to make nice small talk. She knew I was PISSED.

This comment came from the co-worker who misses nearly 25 days a year for one reason or another. She’s lucky I wasn’t on Riba. I nearly “tore her a new a$$hole” without the help of meds. It was so unlike me to react to the snot like that.

It shocked her.

It didn’t shock me as I am severely pissed off regarding my diagnosis and I am ANGRY as hell.

Friday, September 7, 2007

A Friday Start Date

I received a call this morning from receptionist and my first shot appointment has been changed to a Friday. Well, the plan is in place. Now I have to get through it.

It’s an uneasy feeling signing up to get injected with something that probably will make me sick within a few hours only to suffer it out and get ready to take copious amounts of pills that might make me worse. Then I get to do it all over again the following week and so on for 46 more weeks after that.

Tylenol sounds like it’s going to be my new best friend.

I am going to waste the fifty-second year of my life.

I had so many plans.

They are all in limbo.

Hep C has been a huge set back to me. I cannot let it zap my self-esteem and my perception of “me”.

Thursday, September 6, 2007


After months of waiting and weeks of more angst of waiting following a hurried call from the NP I get a letter in the mail today with a start date for a Monday.

I was devastated. I asked specifically to start on a Friday as I am going to try to continue working and getting the worst over with by Monday or Tuesday after my shots. (Ever hopeful, here) I had to call leave a voice mail for the secretary and ask for a Friday appointment.

It will probably take months for another date.

I specifically asked NP to give me a Friday afternoon appointment. She sure wasn’t listening. However, she certainly tells me things about myself that she perceives to be true.

It just prolongs the agony of it all.