"I guess!" ???

The long wait for prognosis, genotyping, appointments with specialist, biopsy, appointment with wrong NP following the biopsy and then the super extended long wait to get an appointment to start the tx has worn me down. I believe that if I had of had less time to sit and ponder it I would have been into tx head first.

This journey started with an innocent home visit from a representative from an insurance company who did a physical on December 4, 2006.

It’s been one emotional roller coaster ride since then and I only missed one day of work for my specialist appointment in April.

My reluctance to take time off work for the biopsy last June didn’t help my cause. I had to wait until the first week of July when I was on vacation. However, since a situation that happened at work in June I have come to realize that I work with wieners who take time off work for “farting crosswise” so I will NEVER hesitate to see the doc during work time again. Also, if I need the time off during tx…I will take it. I have copious amounts of sick time that I have accumulated over the years. I’m just not the type of person that abused it and I have always had in the back of my mind…what if I need it! Well, that train of thought came back to bite me on the bum, didn’t it?

This is insignificant, but this is a good place to vent. Yesterday, I was sitting at work trying to figure out how to get to the doc to ask for a new anti-d to try as I came off the one he gave me the last time. I am kicking and screaming with the idea that I have to take anti-d’s for tx.

I was trying to figure out when I could get to doc’s office so I wouldn’t draw attention to myself at work. I realized that it was stupid of me to try to work this around my schedule after work when I just couldn’t get there. It was recommended by the chemist to start an anti-d as soon as possible because the anti-d she suggested takes two weeks to work.

I went into my boss and mentioned that I had to step out for a few minutes if it were OK with him. He had no problem with it because I’m not the type of person who asks for these types of things. I went to reception (out of courtesy) and mentioned to my co-worker that I’d be stepping out for a few minutes and I’d be right back…as I walked away she sarcastically commented in a low voice “I guess!” I turned on my heels and I was LIVID and I responded with a vehement “Pardon Me”! She didn’t answer because she was never expecting me to respond to her like that, but she knew that I caught her innuendo. I was frothing mad. Went to doc’s office only to find he was on vacation. What are the odds of that? I was so upset making that snap decision to leave work to go to the doc that I forgot to call and wasted my time and set myself up for an upset with the little witch of a co-worker.

When I came back to work (and I was gone 20 minutes max) the co-worker was tentative with me and tired to make nice small talk. She knew I was PISSED.

This comment came from the co-worker who misses nearly 25 days a year for one reason or another. She’s lucky I wasn’t on Riba. I nearly “tore her a new a$$hole” without the help of meds. It was so unlike me to react to the snot like that.

It shocked her.

It didn’t shock me as I am severely pissed off regarding my diagnosis and I am ANGRY as hell.