This is Frankie my BurmeseMy first boy was born in 1987. I was 32 years old and it was hard pregnancy because I kept going into premature labour. However, it was a wonderful day when he was born. I couldn’t believe it and, of course, it set my life on a different route. I was now a mother. It was something I didn’t think would ever happen and it did.
I believe in miracles. I thought I received my one miracle in my life. However, little did I know that I would be a mom again very soon as I found out I was pregnant again within six months following his birth.
He grew up absolutely perfect (gushing mother here) and he’s my brown eyed handsome 6’ 5” man. He is the musician in the family and plays a mean bass.
This boy broke down on me a couple of nights ago and I should have known how badly this diagnosis and treatment has affected my family’s mental health. He is off to the doctor tomorrow as he might need someone to unload on instead of me. In this family I was the organizer, arranger, doer and always available to take on my children’s and husband’s problems and help them work it out. I’m not doing so good with all that thinking doing stuff now. However, they are not used to me being so exhausted and stupid (LOL) all the time. This tx has hit them hard, too.
This week I finished work. My older boy breaking down with overwhelming despair was the decision maker for me. I’m not going back until I am finished treatment and ready to handle my job. I was feeling useless there the last three weeks and I was dragging myself back for “this reason or that reason” only to find that it was a waste of my health and time. I was working on the days I could function and my family was missing out on their Mom… I was only manipulating treatment to get myself to work so I wouldn’t draw attention to myself by missing so much time. Those martyr days are done. Now I am going to work my injection back to either Sunday or Monday night (I’m leaning towards Monday right now) to give me more time with my family and friends on the weekends. They need me just as much as I need them and I want some normalcy in their lives and I can do that being home full-time for a long while. My mom is 81 years old and I have hardly seen her the last 32 weeks as I am sick all weekends when I used to do stuff with her. That will now stop. It took me a while to admit it, but it wasn’t worth my time to kill myself getting to work.
It’s hard to hide the sides from tx. One of my best friends called today and she is worried that I have something terminal. I assured her that it’s not cancer. As someone on the forum once indicated that most people don’t know about Hep C and wouldn’t know the treatment for it. I had one co-worker ask me straight out if I were on chemo. I answered “Sort of…” and left it at that. Any extensive treatment for many different aliments can be called chemo.
I believe in miracles. I thought I received my one miracle in my life. However, little did I know that I would be a mom again very soon as I found out I was pregnant again within six months following his birth.
He grew up absolutely perfect (gushing mother here) and he’s my brown eyed handsome 6’ 5” man. He is the musician in the family and plays a mean bass.
This boy broke down on me a couple of nights ago and I should have known how badly this diagnosis and treatment has affected my family’s mental health. He is off to the doctor tomorrow as he might need someone to unload on instead of me. In this family I was the organizer, arranger, doer and always available to take on my children’s and husband’s problems and help them work it out. I’m not doing so good with all that thinking doing stuff now. However, they are not used to me being so exhausted and stupid (LOL) all the time. This tx has hit them hard, too.
This week I finished work. My older boy breaking down with overwhelming despair was the decision maker for me. I’m not going back until I am finished treatment and ready to handle my job. I was feeling useless there the last three weeks and I was dragging myself back for “this reason or that reason” only to find that it was a waste of my health and time. I was working on the days I could function and my family was missing out on their Mom… I was only manipulating treatment to get myself to work so I wouldn’t draw attention to myself by missing so much time. Those martyr days are done. Now I am going to work my injection back to either Sunday or Monday night (I’m leaning towards Monday right now) to give me more time with my family and friends on the weekends. They need me just as much as I need them and I want some normalcy in their lives and I can do that being home full-time for a long while. My mom is 81 years old and I have hardly seen her the last 32 weeks as I am sick all weekends when I used to do stuff with her. That will now stop. It took me a while to admit it, but it wasn’t worth my time to kill myself getting to work.
It’s hard to hide the sides from tx. One of my best friends called today and she is worried that I have something terminal. I assured her that it’s not cancer. As someone on the forum once indicated that most people don’t know about Hep C and wouldn’t know the treatment for it. I had one co-worker ask me straight out if I were on chemo. I answered “Sort of…” and left it at that. Any extensive treatment for many different aliments can be called chemo.
7 comments:
I think you made the right decision. Your family deserves to have you with them when you're feeling your best.
I think you've got your priorities right. You need these times with your Mom. Your kids and hubby will be better knowing that you are safe at home (even if you are a little 'slow') lol. Only 4 more weeks and you are half way!
Good for you. I worked the first round of treatment and am always surprised I didn't get fired. Hope it gets better for your son.
I agree, absolutely the right decision to finish work and look after yourself and devote the few good days you get on tx to your family. I hope you settle into the 'lady of leisure' routine soon.
Love Fishyxxx
Good call about family being more important than work. people have no idea how nasty tx is.
Good decision Rose, made with your head and your heart. Take it easy, one day at a time.
Hey rose
good decision - even though your kids may tower over you - they still need mum. i do my shot monday night. feel fine on weekend - and a bonus, monday is your day to get organised ready for taking it easy mid week (stock freezer, do all ironing etc.)
enjoy your family.
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