Week 60 was brutal. My haemoglobin was low enough to suffocate me. The good news is that I had my bloods retested on week 61 and my WBC and haemoglobin came up to let me continue on full dose.
I was struggling with the haemoglobin last week and I was having mild chest pains. (I did ensure that I rested if I felt over did it.)
My life is sh%t. anyhow, I may as well keep going on this treatment.
I am so done, but what’s eleven more weeks after 61 weeks of hovering above death?
I am very irritated these days because everything takes so much effort. My coordination is out of whack. I’m teetering and tottering around when I’m walking. I cannot wear heels. I cannot get on an escalator or go down stairs without someone holding on to me. At home I do better on the stairs, but I have to really be careful in case I take a header. If I pick up something...I drop it. If I unscrew a cap of something...I drop it. If I go to put something on the counter I misjudge it...it drops to the floor. I miss the garbage can constantly so I have to bend down and pick it up and do it all over again. Might not be a big thing to someone, but when you can hardly function being so exhausted on chemo it’s a huge effort to do stuff twice.
I cannot coordinate my brain with my hand to turn off or on a light switch without missing it and having to go back and try again. My peripheral vision is also out of whack so that I am bumping into people when I’m out in public. My husband scares the sh%t out of me when he speaks and I don’t know that he’s around. My son’s cell phone is beeping in his room and I feel like going in there and stomping the sh%t out of it. The telephone ringing sets me on edge. If I turn them down husband turns them back up again. (Scared to miss a call, I guess)
I won’t give in!
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2 comments:
It sounds like you need a vacation. Can you afford to get away from your family for a while - to to a spa hotel and have people wait on you, prepare meals for you, etc? This might give you some energy for the Holidays, which you're going to have to get through one way or another, and you'll probably end up doing more than you thought you would. Are you catalog/internet shopping yet?
I intend to do my travelling when I'm not ruled by injections and pills. They are such an inconvience and my whole life is ruled with eating at the right time to take the pills and making sure I can inject the Interferon. Once I'm free of this I'll be more settled to travel.
I have discovered internet shopping for Christmas pressies.
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