Saturday, February 16, 2008

Shot 22




Yesterday, Friday, I experienced “riba rage”. I suffered from occasional “riba rant” up to this point. People on treatment refer to it, but I got a taste of it and I had a huge struggle to keep myself in check. Friday just kept getting increasingly worse for me and in the early morning I was a ranting lunatic over a stupid family dinner that was sprung on me the night before. (You know…the old…”Let’s have a party at your house.” Syndrome) It was smooth how my poor Mom organized it. However, she knows I’m not feeling well, but doesn’t know that I inject myself with chemo every Friday night. This wouldn’t be happening, however, she thinks I’m on arthritis meds.

I was like a deer caught in the headlights because I had no way of talking my Mom out of it. I tried everything, but she was hanging on because she thought my brother was able to attend so she wanted to keep the idea going. My sis who knows what’s going on tried to put the brakes to it and, finally, late Friday night I got the call that I was pardoned. It wore me out as I didn’t want any family dinners until Easter and it would be easier for me to recover on a long weekend. Christmas dinner for 12 was exhausting and I was off on vacation several days that time.

Here’s the dirt on my three month position. I have been so upset lately and I’m just doing my time until I get back to my regular position the end of March. I signed up for the short term position and given a verbal claim that they would pay me 10% more than what I was making at my previous job along with travel reimbursement. I didn’t think was much, however, I was going for the learning experience and the possibility of “phased retirement” where I could do these audits part time.

I knew it was a non union position and only temporary, however, I still had protection of my seniority with union for this short term.

Prior to taking this position I was an eight hour employee and was shocked when I received my pay that I was reduced to a 7.5 hour employee. Apparently, they neglected to tell me that it wasn’t 10% more on my gross wages, but 10% more an hour. I tried to get this all in writing at the first before taking the temporary position and would email people and they would call me back with the info and not answer the emails. I was hesitant and I should have gone with my gut feeling that I needed this in writing. However, being a 24 year employee I thought that it was straightforward because others had done it before me. However, these were new non-union positions that were temporary. Management adjusted the positions to suit them and save some money. Anyhow, I’m taking home the grand total of $2.92 extra on my pay a day and I’m still working eight to 8.5 hours a day. What a joke. Therefore, I am not ahead financially. Also, I find out yesterday that they are going to “dick” me around on the travel claims.

The main boss called me when I kicked up a stink about it and didn’t want me to leave the position and go back to my previous job. He indicated that it was his error and he didn’t calculate that I was an eight hour employee and even though he couldn’t pay me eight hours I am to keep records of the extra time worked and he would see if he could compensate me in the end. This, of course, was verbal. (also a crock of shit) Unfortunately, my site boss has to sign off the extra hours. What a joke. He’s hardly there when I am there and he’s not home with me at night and on the weekends to verify that I am doing work for my employer. I am keeping records for myself only to use for ammo if they ask me to do this job again. I stayed in it because there were other people depending on me to complete the job. There is a casual employee at my regular job and I want to keep her trained in case I have to go on work reduction or if I get too sick on treatment. This should benefit me in the long run, but things don’t usually work out to plan. I also stayed on the job because it vented my anger elsewhere and kept me preoccupied and not thinking about my treatment, but my site boss is wearing me down.

My boss is scattered and disorganized and I have no clue why this person has this job. He doesn’t know how to prioritize his work and doesn’t complete tasks when he should. The brain fog was bad for me last week and being with a disorganized person wrecks me. He gives me stuff to do then either changes it or moves parts of it from the filing system when I need to retrieve the info. Not good when you have your wits about you … even less productive when you don’t on chemo.

Thursday I organized it so that I just had to stop off at the main office on my way through to do an audit at another site on Friday morning. I wanted to get to the site early and get it done. My boss and I conflict on work times as he procrastinates getting to work. I get there on time and still stay late because he keeps me there. It doesn’t matter when I come into work it just never works out and my goal is to get home by 5 to take my meds with food.

My boss is not very organized, but I have to depend on him for reference documents for the audits as I don’t have access to the info. When I rushed into my office in the early morning I discovered that Mr. DISORGANIZED didn’t have my stuff prepared that he indicated he would have ready in the early morning I was frothing. He left me a voice mail to inform me that he opted to go home the night before instead of staying to do the required print offs. It would have taken him ten minutes throughout the day to do it. I felt like biffing all my organized stuff from my car (that I dragged out the night before and dragged home which is heavy and exhausting while on tx) off the side wall of the main office I was so livid. I was frothing and I had to keep myself in check. He rolled in around 9 when he should be there at 8:30 a.m. I hate depending on him to complete my job as it makes me appear inefficient. He won’t get his money’s worth out off me because I am there to reduce his workload and he’s not helping himself much by being so disorganized.

Anyhow, he left at 1:30 p.m. Friday to do a personal thing and I was left without the audit completed.

It’s the meds and I have to be very careful that I don’t get dwelling on how sorry I feel for myself. I did get very low yesterday.

Therefore, I am doing nothing this weekend and going no where. I feel ok early this morning following my 22nd shot, but that doesn’t predict the day or the week.

I’m trying to calm down.

7 comments:

pixie said...

Hi Rose that was a long post hope you feel better for writing it all down....

Yes looks like you had a touch of riba` rage...Its unfortunate to come with the teriotory of the meds..And yes I can`t spell.LOL..

Try keep calm and ride it out....We did here when it hit jb....

Others will soon realise the struggle we have and not put pressure on us...Keep well.CX

someone said...

Ditch the job and go for a family party.... the rage is a tough wave to surf...it's chemically induced.. so you end up like some drug crazed kid on the street but those around don't know it... not the best position to be in.... it's easy to say keep cool... but I know coolness is the last thing on your mind.....

My Other Blog said...

Your boss is a jerk, as mine is and was! Mine comes in late, spends an hour drinking coffee with the other boys, then hours on the phone, two-hour lunches, he can never find anything. If I want my time sheet signed every 2 weeks, I need to stand there and watch him sign it, othewise, he has lost them. Now, I remember why I pretty much stayed home through most of my treatment last year. Now he's telling me he and I are going to manage a big project together - which means I do all the work, he gets all the glory if it goes well, I get blamed if it goes bad.
I don't know how much time you can take off, but it doesn't sound like working for this man is doing a lot of good for you. I hope things get better when you get back to your real job in April.

msb said...

I think we are reading the same book. I feel like I'm popping in and out of a Steven King novel.

PATSY said...

Hi Rose
Just what you didn't need - get away from the union rep who drove you nuts at the other job, only to have her replaced with dumb and dumber...I know that you can get through this rough patch.

Rose said...

LOL Stephen King novel..."if I didn't have bad luck I'd have no luck at all!"

I have to agree with you msb!

I'd much rather the family dinner, however, that's a physical job and I'm exhausted these days.

I was shocked how livid I became when I walked into the office all ready to go. I really struggled to keep myself in check. Well, it will be their problem because I won't get the job completed and there will be no need to try and jam it all on my the last couple of weeks as I won't be able to get it done. I'll make sure of it! (wink!) I have to appreciate this riba sometimes…it makes me spunky.

Yes, Pats I thought I'd get away from the tyrant at work for a bit of a break. Ironically, my replacement is getting a real taste of the unnecessary interference and “make work projects” because of our coworker’s flappy mouth. I have a gag order on anything that I in that job regarding personnel as it escalates into a huge fight with copious amounts of time, emails, telephone conversations, etc., wasted on every tiny issue.

You know what, Pat’s? I don’t find it does any good in small work place issues as it all works out the same anyhow. This one is slapping the union book and labour code book and waving it at every opportunity and I have found out that she is usually wrong, runs interference and makes a whole pile of work and involves senior management in every workplace issue. She is so busy doing union work all the time that her real job is suffering along with the rest of her coworkers as she’s off in a rant everyday about something. She loves the fight and gets high with the conflict. Why aren’t there any union rules to protect workers from this harassment? However, there isn’t as the union will not protect me. I have to report to her if I have an issue. LOL I’m not anti-union in any way, I’m just sick to death of her nasty rants all the time and her hunger to take over the union to have complete control. This one and her minions have eliminated all the long-term reps that were very professional and are struggling for complete control.

Me said...

I wish I knew what to say. My mind isn't working. Dang. I'm drawing a blank.

I feel for you, really. I just wish I knew anything at all to say that might help.

I'm sorry I don't.