Monday, January 28, 2008

19

I remember when I turned 19. It's the legal drinking age here in my province and I went to a bar. The bar closed down years ago, but I remember feeling all grown up and enjoying the social aspect of it. I wasn't much of a drinker, however, I do miss my good glass of wine with dinner now and again. I miss the social aspect of it.

I am feeling like crap. I am functioning, but I feel like crap.

I needed support when I was diagnosed with Hep C and the UK forum was such a positive place when I logged in when I became a member way back in May 2007. Now it has scared the hell out of me regarding the in fighting, the exodus of long time members, logging IP addy’s and seeking out people for their exact geographical area they live along with possibility and accusations that pm’s and monitoring their pm’s. The innuendos made in various posts that no one can be trusted. Have I become swept up with the paranoia wondering who is a friend and who isn’t? Nope! My friends here are supportive not sniping or oiling for fights all the time. LOL

I have pulled back tremendously from the UK forum that should have been full of support. The “in fighting” and accusations scare the hell out of me and I don’t want to be a part of it.

What a loss of knowledge for me as I am hesitant to even ask a question about my sides or my treatment on the UK forum. I don’t share too much anymore regarding my treatment or sides. I have a long haul if I make it through this treatment.

My tx buddies also seem to be struggling the same as I am trying to find a common ground. We want to support everyone and want to get on with a more positive situation as treatment and the illness is such a negative situation for everyone.

I am thankful that I have my friends on this blog and we all share a common goal of getting through this and those that have made it through treatment are here for me as well.

I wasn’t perky this weekend after my 19th shot on Friday night. I did absolute nothing on the weekend.

8 comments:

PATSY said...

We have common concerns. I don't know what I'd do without you and my other treatment buddies and friends we have met along the way. I only have a few weeks left, but I will be here and wherever for you and my tx friends - "Paying it Forward"
Hope your week is better than the w/e - this stuff is so unpredictable, never knowing from one week to the next what to expect. Thinking of you my friend!

My Other Blog said...

I check in here several times a week to see if you've written anything new, even though I know you have a writing pattern and only write about once a week. You know you can find me on the nomads, and my email address is on my blog. If you need to talk to someone who has been through this, let me know and I'll send you my phone number. (Actually, I may be getting a new phone plan and if I do, I'll get free calls to Canada, then I can call you.) Hang in there my friend, you are not alone.

lynzeey said...

Hi Rose
I feel the Forum has let us down with all this continual squabbling, it makes a mockery of a serious illness. However, I do trust MartinB's advice and he has been very helpful to me during my tx. I've no time for the politics of the site.... I'm too busy feeling like crap and coping with that and trying to get on with life, so I am as upset as you about it all Rose, and I don't think it is just us two!
If you want to continue keeping in touch via email then let me know and we can sort something out.
I have a great admiration for the way you are continuing to work (and undertaking a new challenge as well) We might feel like crap but I think that means we are doing ok.
All the best
Love Lynz x

Terry Lee said...

The UK forum is hard to take. I quit it 8 months ago and I don't miss it. I get most of my support from blogging, mine and others. The nomads forum is a happy little place. Hope you start to feel better. I know from experience that it ebbsand flows. I've had about 10 weeks out of 38 but it's been 10 too many. Hang in there.

msb said...

I will always be greatful to both blogs as they are a tremendous help on some of my dark days. Their quarrellings with each other isn't really of any concern to me, I guess, because I'm on the other side of the ocean. But, to tell the truth, most of my support is through my blog and all the non hep-c chat that goes on. Also, I belong couple of support groups in real time. Take it with a grain of salt, Rose. don't let their stuff get you down.

Rose said...

Thanks for all your responses. I am a bit exhausted this week and I hope to get through it. TerryLee is right there are some weeks that really zonk you and others that are OK. (not great, but OK)

I’m putting one foot ahead of the other like so many people on tx claim to do everyday.

I expect I’ll let loose with riba rants some day and get the boot off the forum. LOL

Take Care all my pals
Rose

someone said...

Rose I always pull back from forums for a while ... it does you good to step back and draw your breath... if you have questions then I am sure if you put them into your blog someone would get back to you.... I think Terry Lee is right there are other ways to get you through this....but keep in mind that there people out here that care and understand exactly what you are going through....it will pass.... regards jb x

pixie said...

Rose i am sorry that this has affected you this way.....I do wish the Admin on the Fplace could read this and begin to understand and stop making false accusations about us on the Nomads..people are there because they wanna be ..Full Stop...

We all care so much for you going thru this long haul....As jb says step back from forums when it becomes to much..
And don`t worry about ranting on the Nomads if we can put up with the mad one we can put up with anything....PXXXX