45 - Trip to New Orleans

Turning 45 in the year 2000 my husband and I celebrated the new millennium and traveled to New Orleans and met friends from another country for a week of fun.

It’s interesting that Patsy brought up on the forum the topic of a “bucket list” of all the things you want to do if you knew that you were going to die. (Morbid subject, I know). However, I guess I always had a “bucket list”, but I considered them my goals. (short term and long term) One of my goals was to go to New Orleans and I did it at 45 years of age. It was a great experience and I loved the “old south” uniqueness about it.

We went up the Mississippi River in an old steam boat and viewed the levees built to keep the river from flooding the old plantations. They were extremely high. We also tried a Mint Julep which was too strong for me so I nixed it…someone else drank it willingly LOL. We also did a Jazz night on the steamboat during a major vicious thunder and lightening storm. We visited old plantations and they were beautiful. The French Quarter and Bourbon Street were very different and I am glad to have experienced it. I do remember many of the tour guides indicating that New Orleans was built on top of the water and the city was build on a bowl like terrain. They would indicate that if the levees ever broke it would fill like a bowl. Little did we know that five years later hurricane Katrina would hit New Orleans and cause such devastation when it pushed through a weakened levee and filled the city up with water like a bowl.

I am struggling with nausea these days. I’m eating fat with my foods, but where I’m lacking is in the interest of eating. I know I have to eat because I have to take the pills. The choice of food here is not good and my husband has to rely on “take out” restaurant food because I cannot cook anymore. I can hardly stomach restaurant food and yearn for meat and potatoes and home cooking. The brain fog is frustrating along with the fact that I am so fatigued I cannot do a thing. I am very resentful that I have to depend on my husband for everything. The poor bugger. He’s having trouble handling it along with working full time. I do what I can when I can, but I see it all deteriorating around me everyday.

The sad part is that not many people know what’s really wrong with me or how sick I really am on this chemo. I have been brushing them off when I ask and tell them that I am treating for an autoimmune problem and that the medicine is knocking me off my feet.

It’s a believable story, however, the ones who do know or know that I am in this shape (and there are only a handful of family) are unable to help me with my food. I was the youngest and healthiest to do that sort of thing and I toppled on them. The meals used to be a big thing in my home and even though no one expects me to do it now … I am not getting any invites out for meals. I would kill for someone to invite me out for a meal made by them, BUT when they do ask they want to go to a restaurant and I have to force a simple soup or chowder down to get through the meal.

My mom has come and made some meals and she knows that something is desperately wrong with me. She keeps asking to come back to make more, but she’s so exhausted herself in her advanced years. I am so lucky to still have my Mom.