Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Waiting

Waiting.

I waited from December 18, 2006 to January 25, 2007 to get a confirmation that I tested positive for Hep C. I nearly went crazy with the angst and pretty sure that it was a false positive that the insurance company found during a routine test taken early December. The health care system took its good old time to get back to me with the results. It was a real shocker for me and my family. Not a clue where I picked it up along the way in my cloistered life.

Of course, the company refused me the insurance policy that was my first slap in the face regarding the stigma attached to this virus.

Waiting.
I finally get to see a nurse practitioner the middle of April.

Waiting.
Liver biopsy July (excellent, I should add and happy for it)

Waiting.
Treatment

I cannot live within my own skin…I should try and treat to see if I can exterminate the virus.

What a long drawn out process and my patience is wearing thin. I expect the waiting will be much longer while I try to treat. 48 weeks.

I am an emotional wreck over all this along with being angry and bitter as hell. I hope that this anger will subside. I resent the fact that I was busy going along with my own life and had overcome and endured other crap only to get gut punched with this heinous virus.

I’m hiding and fearful that people will discover that I have Hep C.

This evening finally took the wrapping off the DVD supplied by the drug company to teach how to use the redipen. I have had the kit for weeks and I have been hesitant to look at that DVD. Well, I did tonight and it scares the hell out of me.

2 comments:

lynzeey said...

I guess we have all had to face the stigma of this disease and the waiting is hard isn't it. We should all be given a t-shirt when diagnosed that says "I am not my disease!" It sounds like you will soon be joining me on the healing journey, let's hope the ride isn't too bumpy for us! So glad you have started a blog - am sure you will find it very therapeutic, an excellent place to sound off! lynzeey

Rose said...

I'm with you on your journey, Lyn.
Take Care
Rose